7 real wedding ceremony moments I'll never forget
Updated: Oct 10
I've conducted hundreds of ceremonies over the years, and when I reflect on those weddings and vow renewals, there are some moments that have stayed with me far longer than I ever expected.
Some are emotional. Some are hilarious. Some are carefully planned surprises that work even better than we'd hoped. And some happen because, well, weddings are full of people, dogs, weather and champagne, and sometimes things simply don't go according to plan.
Here are seven I don't think I'll ever forget.
1. The one where it rained. And rained. And RAINED.
Well, we had to start with a weather story, didn't we?
Camilla and Andy had travelled all the way over from Australia to get married in Cornwall, where Camilla is originally from. It was July, and their ceremony was going to overlook the Camel Estuary at Padstow, in one of those spots where the view does most of the decorating for you.
You can picture it. Cornish summer. Beautiful estuary. Outdoor wedding ceremony. Except - somebody forgot to tell the weather. The rain and wind that day were biblical.
I'm not talking about a bit of Cornish drizzle or the sort of rain that makes you think you might need an umbrella. This was sideways, relentless, monsoon-style rain, with wind to match.
Thank goodness for the very well-tethered marquee. Although everyone got soaked getting in and out, and throughout the ceremony the rain absolutely hammered on the canvas above our heads.
And Camilla and Andy? They did not care. One jot. It remains one of my favourite ceremonies. There was so much laughter and so much fun. Everyone simply embraced the ridiculousness of what was happening outside and got on with the rather more important business of celebrating these two brilliant people.
Would sunshine have made the photographs different? Of course it would. Would it have made the ceremony better? Not a chance.
2. The one where we all got choked up
I will never, ever forget this one.
Nick and Vic were completely invested in creating a ceremony that meant something to them. They'd recently become first-time parents, and I'd written a piece about that enormous, wonderful change in their lives.
So perhaps we were already in fairly emotional territory. Then Nick started reading his personal vows. And had to stop.
He blinked hard. His voice broke. For a few seconds, every single person in that small, intimate gathering seemed to stop breathing with him. Several of us suddenly had something in our eye. Nobody tried to rescue the moment. Nobody hurried him along. We simply waited.
And it was unbelievably moving.
People sometimes worry about becoming emotional during their wedding vows. Please don't. Your vows aren't an acting performance. Nobody is expecting a flawless delivery, and certainly nobody is sitting there judging your public-speaking skills. If you cry, you cry. If your voice disappears for a moment, we'll wait.
Because that's the real stuff. It's completely authentic. Completely unplanned. And, to my mind, it's some of the best stuff there is.
3. The one where the dog stole the show
They say never work with animals or children. I'll take the animals any day.
Jess and Chris got married at Jess's family home, which immediately set the scene for a wonderfully relaxed ceremony. And naturally, their beloved dog Clemmie was going to be part of it.
At one point we'd wondered whether Clemmie might look after the rings. Clemmie had other ideas. She was much happier mooching around the ceremony, saying hello to everybody and photobombing whenever the opportunity presented itself. There is considerable photographic evidence of this. And I love it.
I get asked quite often about involving dogs in wedding ceremonies, and my advice is generally: do it. Give them a role if you want to. Have somebody they know and trust looking after them. Bring the treats. But also accept that your dog has absolutely no understanding of your carefully planned ceremony timeline.
Clemmie wasn't badly behaved. She was just being Clemmie. We’re just grateful she didn’t dig up the sausage that had been buried the night before.
4. The one where being a linguist came in handy
There's stress. And then there's the particular sort of stress that comes with conducting part of somebody's wedding ceremony in a language you haven't properly spoken since 1990.
When Marina and Tom, who were based in Germany, asked me to conduct their wedding ceremony, there was one additional request. Could I deliver part of it in German?
Now, I studied German at A level. Unfortunately, a lot of years had passed between sitting that A level and standing up in front of Marina and Tom's wedding guests.
I love languages, and I'd say I'm a reasonable linguist, but there is a world of difference between thinking I used to be quite good at German and actually standing in front of a wedding party and conducting part of somebody's wedding ceremony in it.
I was more than a little nervous. There was practising. A lot of practising. Thankfully, it turned out I hadn't forgotten quite as much German as I'd feared.
Afterwards, Marina and Tom left me the loveliest review. Apparently their friends and family were impressed, and, in their words, I'd conducted that part of the ceremony in "perfect German".
I'll take that. (Although I'm fairly sure they were being generous.)
What I remember most, though, was what bringing their two worlds together added to the ceremony. It was only one small part of the script, but to the people sitting there listening, it meant something.
And that's the point, really.
5. The one where the rings were hidden
I love a ceremony surprise.
For this particular wedding, instead of the best man simply producing the rings at the appropriate moment, we'd hidden the ring boxes underneath two completely random guests' seats.
Nobody knew who the ring bearers were going to be until we reached that point in the ceremony. And it worked brilliantly. Two fabulously supportive and completely unsuspecting guests discovered they'd just been promoted to ring bearers and duly brought the rings forward. But not out of a sense of obligation. With a sense of real joy, surprise and excitement.
And that wasn't the only surprise. I also knew our couple were big fans of the US version of The Office. They weren't expecting their favourite programme to feature so heavily in their wedding ceremony.
But it did. The reaction was exactly what I'd hoped for. Surprise. Recognition. And big, bellowing belly laughs at all the appropriate moments.
That's one of the things I love about a genuinely personal wedding ceremony. Not every moment has to be solemn. Sometimes making somebody think, 'I cannot believe she put THAT in,' is every bit as meaningful.
6. The one where the champagne got drunk too early
Now, as you might know, I am rather partial to a nice glass of bubbles. So when Kate and Jake told me they wanted to finish their ceremony with a champagne toast, I thought: excellent plan.
The champagne was duly arranged. The glasses were poured. There was just one problem. Two rather naughty best men appeared to be making it their personal mission to empty as many glasses as possible before we actually reached the toast.
I'd been keeping half an eye on them during the ceremony. And then I noticed. They'd drunk the couple's champagne too. Honestly.
Cue some fairly serious ad-libbing from me, a little gentle public shaming, some enthusiastic guest participation and strong encouragement for the guilty parties to get themselves back to the bar and refill those glasses. They did. Eventually.
The toast happened. Everybody laughed and, most importantly, Kate and Jake finally got their champagne.
Would that moment have appeared in any ceremony script I wrote? Absolutely not. Would I remove it if I could? Also absolutely not.
Because this is what happens when you bring real people into a carefully planned wedding ceremony. You can plan the words, the music, the rings and the champagne, but you can't quite plan what everyone else is going to do with them. And that's rather the fun of it.
7. The one that became much more than a wedding
This last one is different. Nothing went wrong. Nobody misbehaved. There wasn't a German sentence, an errant dog or an empty champagne glass in sight.
It's here because, for me, being in the moment is everything.
Every now and then, a ceremony stays with me long after I've left the venue. Anna and Lou's was one of those. Not because everything was perfect, but because every part of it reflected who they are, the people they love and the life they've built together.
Anna and Lou chose my unseen ceremony option. That meant they wouldn't hear a single word I'd written until they were standing together, surrounded by the people they love, on their wedding day.
It's a choice that requires an enormous amount of trust. And, if I'm honest, it brings with it a fair amount of responsibility too. There's no opportunity for them to read through the ceremony beforehand, make a few tweaks or suggest a last-minute change. I have to get it right.
Watching them hear their ceremony for the first time, and seeing the recognition, the reactions and those tiny little exchanges between them, was incredibly special.
But there's another reason they've stayed with me. One of the unexpected joys of being a celebrant is that, every so often, what begins as a wedding enquiry becomes something much more.
Over the years I've been invited back for naming ceremonies and anniversary celebrations and for the occasional catch-up over tea and cake. I've received news of house moves, babies, dogs and adventures. I've bumped into couples on Cornish beaches, in cafés and at local events.
Every single time, it makes me smile. I'm sure Anna and Lou will be one of those couples. And it's an incredible privilege. One I'm pretty sure comes with no other job.
So, what makes a wedding ceremony unforgettable?
After hundreds of ceremonies, I'm pretty certain it isn't perfection.
It's connection. It's the enormous, unbridled laugh when something unexpected happens. The voice that cracks halfway through a vow. The dog who completely ignores her carefully assigned role. The surprise on a guest's face when they discover a box of wedding rings underneath their chair. The look between two people when they hear words written just for them.
Those are the moments. So yes, plan your wedding ceremony carefully. Choose things that mean something to you. Surround yourselves with people you love. And then, when the day arrives, give yourselves permission to actually be in it. Because that's where the best bits happen.
And if the wind blows, your voice wobbles, the dog goes rogue or the best man drinks your champagne… we'll cope. And you never know. It might just become the bit you remember most.
Planning your own wedding ceremony in Cornwall? If you'd like something personal, relaxed and unmistakably yours - with plenty of careful planning, but enough flexibility for real life to happen - discover more about our wedding ceremonies in Cornwall or get in touch.
